Wednesday, September 27, 2006

My Dad

To explain my absence for any of you that still visit me here.

This has always been one of my favorite pictures of my father.


I've always been very private about my life, when I write on my blog. Somehow I just wanted to keep it a simple, happy place, about crafts I've made or bargains found at the thrift store. It's a difficult thing to put myself out there in public, cause I'm never sure how much I want to share, even little things. Then there are the life altering experiences....and so I've decided I would share.

My Father died recently. It wasn't a shock. He was ill with emphysema and heart disease for several years. What was especially difficult was that it was on the anniversary of my son's death. He was fourteen years old at the time of his accident, which was just over three years ago. My grieving for him was especially tender this year. So there it is, a blast of reality on a simple little blog.

You see, when I read about someone sharing their struggle with an illness, or the death of a parent or the birth of a child, I feel as though I'm keeping a secret. Part of who I am is the fact that I'm a mother who has lost a child. And please, I don't mean to bring anyone down. Ultimately I find life extremely beautiful, even more so, knowing how fragile it is... and so...I go about my sometimes hum-drum life, trying to remember to keep an eye out for that beauty. (As I know many of you do)

10 comments:

Janelle said...

I'm really sorry for your double loss. I think it's always hard to figure out how much to share on a blog, and where our comfort level is, but I appreciate your sharing. What a beautiful photo.

Green Kitchen said...

Thanks for sharing, helping us remember to be present. I'm sorry for your losses. And, that photo is absolutely gorgeous.

Leslie said...

The photo is beautiful and so sweet. I can't imagine your sadness at losing two loved ones.

krista said...

Exactly what everyone else said. I can see why you would treasure that photo. I am so sorry to hear your losses.
Thank you for sharing.

--erica said...

I check in here often. I'm so sad to hear. I will be thinking of you.

PJ said...

Very well put...it's hard at times to put personal stuff out there...but I thank you because I think it lets us 'in'...your loss is so real and so hard I can only imagine. I'm still reading and when bloglines updates it was neat to see yours highlighted! It's all personal and I think when we try to maintain an 'un'personal blog it becomes 2D. Peace be with you through this!

AnnieElf said...

Ahhhh, Becky, it's good to see you back again even if it is just a brief visit. We all hope you will stay though. That is a marvelous picture of your dad. I like that you can't really see his face but you CAN really see HIM.

susan said...

this is the first time i have come to your blog and well,i can not imagine your loss. ..i too have a child 17. but what a lovely photo and i am sure with your incredibly strong constituion, beauty will be found for you everywhere. thank you for your sensible, strong words!

nancy said...

I just want to say thank you. your courage to find what is lovely in this life afterr such a loss is remarkable. and you make our lives sweeter for letting us in. You are not alone. Nancy

Beata said...

Hi Becky,
I've been browsing through your blog - relishing it all! -, but I had to stop at this entry and thank you for writing something so beautiful, heartfelt and inspiring...I will definitely be coming back to this entry just to re-read it, reflect and be inspired...thank you...